I was hurt. I was depressed. After a rough couple of days, Lamar Jackson is smiling again and
KISSIMMEE, Fla. — Ravens players and coaches were everywhere during Wednesday’s first day of Pro Bowl practice at the ESPN Wide World of Sports Complex and quarterback Lamar Jackson was the easiest guy to find.
Just look for the crowd and there was Jackson smack dab in the middle of it. He ran onto the field, greeting fans and signing autographs. He held court with AFC teammates and coaches. He stood in the end zone after practice and was surrounded by reporters looking for interviews and fans hoping for an autograph and a picture. No player on the AFC squad generated more fanfare.
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Yet, Jackson’s smile was as omnipresent as the throng of people battling for his attention.
“I’m starstruck,” Jackson told The Athletic. “But at the same time, I’m having fun.”
A week earlier, Jackson wasn’t doing much smiling. In fact, he wasn’t doing much at all. After spending the better part of the season electrifying fans and frustrating opponents and becoming one of the fresh new faces of the NFL, Jackson withdrew, if only for a little while.
“I didn’t leave my room, to be honest,” Jackson said. “I wasn’t frustrated. I was hurt. I was depressed. It was like, ‘I don’t even want to go outside right now. I’m not happy right now.’ There was nothing to celebrate.”
It was all set up perfectly for the Ravens and their 23-year-old quarterback. The Ravens had a 12-game winning streak and the AFC’s top seed. Jackson seemingly had the Most Valuable Player award wrapped up without even playing in Week 17. In Jackson’s mind, there was only one way for a special and record-breaking season to end. He was going to lead the team back to South Florida, where the Ravens regular-season began and where Jackson’s NFL dreams were hatched, and finish off a Super Bowl run in style.
Jackson admittedly thought about it. How could he not? The Ravens hadn’t lost a game in more than three months. During that span, they beat two of the NFC’s best teams and three of the AFC’s top squads. They had the league’s highest-scoring offense and one of the stingiest defenses, and a quarterback riding an incredible wave of momentum.
“There was so much going on, and I was so pumped,” Jackson said. “But it is what it is.”
“It” was playoff heartbreak and a season coming to an abrupt and agonizing halt. A 28-12 home divisional round playoff loss to the Tennessee Titans was a stunning end to the Ravens’ best regular season in franchise history. It left fans pointing fingers and players and coaches struggling to explain why the team played so poorly with so much on the line.
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“We didn’t play ball how we should have, how we had been playing ball all year,” Jackson said. “We didn’t hit them in the mouth like we should have. We didn’t bounce back fast enough. Time ran out and we didn’t score enough points. Next time out, we’ve got to put points up on the board.”
By now, the reasons for the loss have been widely dissected, and the blame thoroughly dispensed. The Ravens offense turned the ball over three times, struggled in the red zone, and on fourth down, and the receivers had a hard time holding onto the ball. The defense couldn’t slow down Derrick Henry or stop the Titans inside the 20. John Harbaugh and his coaching staff opened themselves up for criticism by getting away from their vaunted running game and for two decisions to go for it on fourth down.
As he’s done since taking over the starting quarterback role, Jackson said the blame for the team’s performance starts with him. He accounted for more than 500 yards of total offense against the Titans, although a chunk of it came in the fourth quarter when the Ravens were down three scores. One of his two interceptions hit off tight end Mark Andrews’ hands. The other was just a poor decision. Jackson was also stopped twice on 4th-and-1 runs, which hadn’t happened all year.
“I need to get better myself,” Jackson said. “I don’t put nothing on my teammates. We all just have to do our part. My job was to help my team, get my team in the red zone and score points. I didn’t do my job. We just got to move on. All season we were doing that. We’d drive down into the red zone and we’d put up points. For that game, we didn’t. We can’t put that on the defense. (Tennessee) only scored like 28 points. We should score more points than that.”
Jackson takes losses extremely hard. He still cringes at the mention of specific games he lost while at Louisville. After the Titans’ game, he was asked about dealing with the inevitable questions about his 0-2 playoff record. Jackson said that he doesn’t and won’t pay attention to outside scrutiny.
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He reiterated Wednesday that the disappointment would only motivate him through the offseason and going forward.
“I feel like the loss was a lesson, just like the playoff loss my rookie year,” Jackson said. “We got better off that, so we just are going to come back. We’re going to get to the playoffs again and the next time is going to be totally different.”
In one sense, this week should be therapeutic for Jackson. He’s not preparing for the Super Bowl, but he’s at least back on a football field. He’s also with 11 of his Ravens teammates and the majority of the team’s coaching staff. At one point in Wednesday’s walk-through, seven of the AFC’s 11 offensive players in the huddle were Ravens.
“This is like a Baltimore Pro Bowl for sure (with) the coaches and all the players,” said right guard Marshal Yanda. “It’s fun. It is what is, the last playoff game and you’ve just got to move on.”
Jackson surely seemed to enjoy himself Wednesday. He talked ball with Houston Texans quarterback Deshaun Watson and Henry. He joked around with his Ravens teammates and poked fun at offensive tackle Ronnie Stanley when he lost his balance and fell backward after experiencing light contact from Denver Broncos pass rusher Von Miller.
“He seems like the ultimate teammate,” said Pittsburgh Steelers defensive lineman Cameron Heyward. “He seems like a good guy who is very humble in his approach.”
Earlier in the day, Jackson played catch with New Orleans Saints quarterback Drew Brees’ sons. Brees had said on social media Tuesday that his son, Baylen, wanted to meet Jackson. The Ravens quarterback obliged and said he was touched by the responses to him from other Pro Bowl players.
Moments later, Minnesota Vikings cornerback Xavier Rhodes shook Jackson’s hand on his way off the field.
“It’s unbelievable to me,” said Jackson. “I’m just turning 23. These are the guys I want to meet. I want to take pictures with these guys and they’re beating me to the punch. It’s dope, man.”
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This is the start of what should be a memorable 10 days for Jackson. On Sunday, he’ll be the starting quarterback for the AFC in the Pro Bowl. Later next week, he’ll be in Miami, where he’s expected to become the first Raven ever to win the league MVP award. That will be announced the day before the Super Bowl.
“If I win MVP, I’m going to be very happy,” Jackson said. “Another thing to bring home to Baltimore, another trophy.”
After taking some time off, Jackson will get back to work and start preparing for the 2020 season. As much as he was enjoying himself Wednesday, he clearly doesn’t want to be back at the Pro Bowl next year.
“We’re trying to get somewhere,” Jackson said. “All of us wanted to be in Miami for the Super Bowl. We weren’t planning on cutting (the season) short. Nobody was planning on that. It happened. We were hurt about it, but it is what it is. You’ve got to move on.”
(Top photo: John Raoux / Associated Press)
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